Skip advert
Advertisement
Features

A car wash loophole in an MGF – evo Archive

How the drop-tops Grand Challenge got some of the evo team in a lather

Over the years I don’t remember many arguments aboard the good ship evo, but I do recall some stormy skies over Land’s End back in the spring of 2009.

It was the final round of the second evo Grand Challenge (issue 130), which had seen four teams each buy a car for £1000 or less, then subject them to various challenges. The rules on this occasion had stipulated that a convertible needed to be purchased and this led us to an MX-5 (predictable by Tomalin and Green), a Saab Turbo (left-field from Barker and Metcalfe), a BMW 325i (which sadly suffered an embrace from some Armco mid-competition) and the stand-out choice, an MGF, which was the steed of Ian Eveleigh and yours truly. Registration R509 CUM. 

Advertisement - Article continues below

> Lost spectacles and a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster – evo Archive

Unfortunately the cards were stacked against the British Racing Green beauty in the first couple of rounds. Things like road worthiness and straight-line performance weren’t the mid-engined roadster’s forte. The track might have played to its strengths but snow scuppered our chances against the great white, front-wheel-drive Saab, otherwise known as Moby Dick. 

All of which saw us heading into the final round trailing our rivals. The position looked hopeless. But then I inspected the rules, which had been written by Peter Tomalin (one of our competitors, let’s not forget…). They read as follows: 

Skip advert
Advertisement
Advertisement - Article continues below

Round 6: Road Drive.

Route: Wollaston to Land’s End.

Scoring: Arrive by 5pm to score 50 points. One penalty point for every minute late. One extra point for every mile above 300. Ten bonus points for every seaside town. Extra 20 bonus points for going through a car wash. 

You’ve no doubt immediately seen the wiggle room, the loophole, the area ripe for interpretation. It’s almost as though it was left there like a little Easter egg, waiting for someone to crack it. The others turned left out of the office car park, heading straight for the West Country. Ev and I, pipes clamped resolutely between our teeth, swung right and made a beeline for the nearest car wash. And then another. And another. Eleven in total.  

Advertisement - Article continues below

Given the parlous state of the MGF’s rear window (which had cracked when the seller was demonstrating it to us) it was a plan fraught with peril. However, the rough shag remained dry and, with seconds to spare, we rolled to a stop at Land’s End just before 5pm. 

It’s silly, because it was hardly the British Grand Prix and we hadn’t done anything that would make Tom Walkinshaw lose any sleep, but I remember being quite nervous when I laid our claim to a final-round score of 400 points. Our team, Demon Tweed, had racked up 138 more than Need for Swede (Saab) and 145 more than Ginger Tom Racing (MX‑5). This left the provisional final standings reading MGF 800, Saab 719 and MX-5 672. You don’t need me to do the maths.

Peter Tomalin is one of the nicest, most mild-mannered men you could ever wish to meet, but there was a moment when he looked like I’d kicked his dog and keyed his car. Harry Metcalfe was so livid that I thought he might actually fire me at one point. 

Thankfully evo’s placid photographer-cum-chimney, Chris Rutter, had been appointed adjudicator and he deemed that there was indeed enough ambiguity in the rules to award us the win. Beers were drunk, tempers tempered and we were all friends again by the end of the evening. Although I’m pretty sure everyone hoped that the head gasket on our MGF would fail on the way home.

Skip advert
Advertisement

Recommended

MG4 XPower review – the price-to-performance king
MG4 XPower front
Reviews

MG4 XPower review – the price-to-performance king

MG’s 429bhp electric hatch is blindingly quick, but it doesn’t live up to its promise as an involving driver’s car
14 Feb 2024
MG PR2 – dead on arrival
MG PR2 – front
Features

MG PR2 – dead on arrival

In an alternate reality, the MGF could have been a front-engined V8 roadster
20 Jul 2023
MG4 Trophy 2023 review
MG4 Trophy review – front
Review

MG4 Trophy 2023 review

MG’s all-electric warm hatch has an affordable price on its side to take on the established EV hatch sector
14 Jul 2023
New 2023 MG4 XPower arrives as 429bhp electric hot hatch
MG4 XPower front
News

New 2023 MG4 XPower arrives as 429bhp electric hot hatch

The MG4 XPower is the firm’s most powerful road car yet, with a host of engineering upgrades to kick start MG’s performance car revival
5 Jul 2023
Skip advert
Advertisement

Most Popular

The Nissan GT-R has been updated yet again for 2025
Nissan GT-R 2025 – front
News

The Nissan GT-R has been updated yet again for 2025

The R35 Nissan GT-R refuses to die – this latest version gets engine enhancements and subtle cosmetic tweaks
15 Mar 2024
MST Mk1 2024 review – £174,000 Ford Escort recreation driven
MST Mk1 Ford Escort
Reviews

MST Mk1 2024 review – £174,000 Ford Escort recreation driven

The MST Mk1 is a brand new, 50-year-old, road-going rally car. It looks the business, but does it deliver? Strap yourself in…
15 Mar 2024
Used car deals of the week
Main used car deals
Advice

Used car deals of the week

In this week's used car deals, we've sourced everything from the TVR Tuscan to the CLS63 Shooting Brake
15 Mar 2024